Un-crunchy crunchy mum! 

When I first became a parent I didn’t really have an expectations, I was ruled by fear! 

Fast forward 7/8 years to me having Charlie! I was more prepared for him, I knew what kind of mother I wanted to be, I wanted to continue as I was but do all the things in his early life that I didn’t know about with Finley and Mason. 

I wanted to breastfeed, cloth nappy, everything natural organic and homeopathic! 

I bought a sling as I wanted to baby wear. And you know something? 

I did breastfeed, Charlie only came out of cloth nappies last Christmas, he had an amber teething necklace, and was carried in a sling a hell of a lot! 

I was hellbent on carrying on all of this into toddlerhood, alas it has not happened! Charlie’s favourite food is toast, he won’t touch a single vegetable, he will only eat strawberries and grapes he doesn’t like to be carried anymore and is in disposable nappies.I guess my ideas and ambitions for motherhood put a lot of pressure on me, I really wanted to be what I thought was perfect. I don’t know how or why but having Willow has made me a confident mother. She rarely goes in the sling, has only worn cloth a few times, and has only tried an amber necklace once and I’m ok with that! She’s happy and healthy! 

When it comes to parenting we all have our own ideas on what’s right and wrong. The biggest issue? Respecting other people’s choices! I’m really god dam fed up of mum wars!! It’s not a competition! Your baby walked at 10 months? That’s awesome I’m really genuinely pleased to hear it, my baby didn’t until 13 months does that make him a lesser human? No it does not! Why do we pit women against each other? It seems more prevalent in motherhood, we judge other mothers choices, when they wean, the way they feed, pram or sling, jarred food or home made, attachment parenting or hands off, there is always something! Does it matter? Aren’t we all doing the same thing here? Aren’t we all just trying to raise our kids the best we can? We all have different styles, different lives, different views. Why should we all be the same? Where’s the diversity in that? Wouldn’t the world be a boring place if everyone was a clone! 

And at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter what you do because when your kid is old enough to choose they’re going to be eating chicken nuggets from the floor and sweets they found in the car! Why don’t we all just support each other? Why can’t we all just get along? Respect is a key ingredient in life, we need to show respect in order to receive it! Let’s stop bashing other mothers because they aren’t doing the exact same thing as you! Let’s stop slagging each other off because your mate Susan decided to wean her baby early! Or Debbie down the road never breastfed! It doesn’t matter! As long as Susie and Debs are good mothers doing the best they can and keeping their kids alive, happy,loved and well,who gives a shit!!!??

Women have long been played off against each other for various reasons, but what’s worse than that is we are doing it to each other! Women should be supporting each other! Can you imagine meeting a new friend and thinking wow this person is awesome and then finding out in their spare time they are trolling celebrities Instagram’s to leave nasty comments!? Wouldn’t you find that sad? I genuinely have sorrow in my heart for hate filled people, I firmly believe if you don’t have anything nice or constructive to say to someone then shut the fuck up! What’s the need to be vile and drag someone down? To destroy another persons self esteem is not only cruel,it’s downright nasty! So what are we going to do? Next time your fellow mum or dad friend makes a choice, or confides in you for advice why not say this “how do you feel”? “What do you want to do”? Or “does it work for you and your family” that’s all that really needs to be said! Let’s support each other on this journey, let’s build each other up, pat each other on the back, advise not criticise!!! 
Peace and love guys!

Until next time! 


Summer time and the living ain’t easy!

In the UK we currently have 8 school days left until the summer holidays! Most parents dread them, seven whole weeks with bored kids because our weather is shit and kids cost a fuck ton of money! And while that does not appeal to me not having the bullcrap I have most school mornings is something that does!! 
I wake up at 7am, I go get Finley up first, he usually wraps a blanket around him, stumbles down the stairs and curls up on the sofa. Then it’s Mason’s turn! I usually have to wrestle him out of bed! He stays up late most evenings unable to sleep, so mornings are not a good time to be in his presence! Once they are both finally up breakfast begins! 

I’ll tell them what we have in, of course they want something We haven’t got! Then when they have finally agonised on the life or death decision of what to eat for breakfast I’ll serve it up! I can almost put money on Finley changing his mind once I give him what he’s previously asked for, this morning for example he wanted shreddies, I gave them to him and he spied masons choice, Nutella on toast (yes i give my kids that for breakfast don’t judge me I’m sleep deprived and vulnerable to attack if I say no)! He then said he’d changed his mind, I tried to be firm and say no, you picked cereal so eat it! He then pushed his bowl away and threw himself on to the floor and proceeded to have a tantrum! Can you guess what he ended up having? Yep Nutella on toast! 
Most mornings the two older boys will have an argument, over some petty shit! This morning it was because Mason saw something on tv and Finley didn’t believe him so they had a full on bawling fight! I’ve mentioned previously Finley has this ear piercing scream that makes you wanna rip your ears off! 

Then it’ll be

 “my sock feels funny” “I don’t like my shoes” “my trousers are uncomfortable” “I’m too tiered” “I hate school” one time Fin refused to eat his breakfast and told me if I sent him to school hungry he’d tell the teacher I’m starving him! Que me having a conversation with his teacher to ensure she didn’t call child services!!

So to me the morning school run routine is something I am glad to see the back of for seven weeks! I’m sure the kids will make me want to rock in a corner clutching wine a fair few times, I’m sure I’ll want to leave them on a church Doorstep, I’m sure there will be plenty of times that I’ve just had enough! Just as I’m sure we will make a ton of memories, have some really fun days out and go on a fair few adventures! 
But as long as I get to spend most of the mornings in my pjays, not having to tackle four buses a day, not having to be up at the ass crack of dawn (Charlie and Willow are late risers thank god, no earlier than 8am with them) then I can take it! So summer holidays, come at me! I’m ready for you bitch!!!! 
Until next time! 

Chimps on day release!!!

We Popped to Asda earlier to get some roast dinner ingredients, as you know shopping with one kid can be a mare let alone four!! 
Mason and Finley were acting like a pair of chimps that had been let out of the zoo enclosure for the day! 

I must have warned them about three or four times and then it happened; I lost my shit! I stood in front of them both and very firmly kinda shouted “I don’t care if the whole of Asda can hear me, I don’t care if everyone stares you two aren’t listening, quit now”!!! As I turned around I saw a lady stood smiling, she opened her mouth to speak and said something I didn’t expect to hear: “well done you! Why should you care! It’s good to see” I smiled back and said “there’s only so many times I can be all calm and polite with them, sometimes you’ve gotta get loud” she said well done again, I smiled and said thank you and went to the next aisle.
It felt good! So thank you lovely lady in Asda, thank you for not judging me or my wayward kids! Thank you for being vocal and telling me it’s ok! You really made me feel better! You made me realise that it really doesn’t matter f anyone is looking or judging! When kids are acting like brats they need telling off! 
Until next time 


A scary world 

Not a day goes by where you don’t turn on the news, social media, the radio and hear of another tragedy. Another act of war, another act of hatred, another act of terrorism. 
I am fearful of the world that my children are growing up in. 

I shield them as much as I can. Turn the radio down in the car, turn the tv over at home, they are too young for social media thankfully! 

So what can we do? What can all of us as parents do for our children’s future in this mess of a world? I know it’s not all bad, every day their are acts of kindness and humility, but for all the bad? What are we to do? 

Well I’ll tell you my idea 

We raise our children to be open minded, to be understanding and accepting, to not fear what they don’t understand and to educate themselves. To educate them! Teach them hate is wrong! Teach them every human being is equal, we all bleed the same! Teach them every single human has a right to a religion, a race, a gender, a sexuality! Instil good morals into them, show them humility, kindness, faith. Teach them to be strong, to be who ever they want to be! That hurting another human being is inherently wrong! 

Teach them to respect their fellow man. To parents of boys, teach them to be respectful to women, to treat women as equals, to be feminists! Parents of girls, teach them to be proud! To not be ashamed, to love themselves, to stand up for their rights as a woman! 

The word feminist gets banded around and images of women burning bras and chanting down with men are conjured up! But that’s not it! Feminism is equality between the sexes. Every man woman and child should be a feminist! 

The world can be a dark and scary place, it’s now our job to make sure it does not remain this way! We must do all in our power to raise our children to allow our world to be a brighter place to be! 
Until next time! 

Bad ass mother Hubbard 

I get asked a lot, how do I manage to run a house and take care of four kids? Well the answer here my friends is I don’t! My house more often than not is messy! Not the dirty type of messy, more the dishes are stacked up, toys every where, huge pile of washing kind of messy! 
I can’t keep up, and I don’t put any pressure on myself to keep up! I do what I can when I can do it! 

Wanna know why? Because I’ll never have this time back! I don’t want to look back at my kids early years thinking “well I didn’t really spend much time with them but god my house was clean” fuck that! That’s not gunna make me happy, it’s not giving my kids happy childhood memories,making the most of every cuddle, every smile,every megablock tower Charlie wants to build with me and then smash right down! It’s not trips to the park or going swimming, treating them at toys r us, it isn’t getting home and curling up in bed with Finley to read a book with him. 

It’s not Mason telling me about his day, or confiding in me about his worries. It’s not watching willow roll over, say her first words, it’s not sitting back and just watching Charlie learn and grow, just watching him in awe and wondering how the fuck I managed to make something so awesome!!! 

I’m sure when my babies are all grown up and moved out my house will be this clean and neat utopia I often dream of! But for now, don’t expect to see it anything other than slightly messy, but full of smiles, memories, fun, love and a lot of arguments about who’s turn it is on the computer! 
Until next time! 

Why I won’t cut my sons hair 

As you can see Charlie has a head full of glorious golden curls! It’s long, wavy and beautiful! Nothing to see here right? 


Here is my open letter that answers the one question I am asked the most about him. 
To the people who ask, no I am not cutting his hair! I know you mean well when you ask, long hair on a boy might not be your cup of tea and that’s totally fine, I respect that! But please respect this about me. His hair is not mine! His body is not mine, his soul is not mine! He belongs to himself, he is only two years old, when he can decide how he wants his hair I will support him to do as he wishes, if he wants it all cut off, if he wants to keep growing it, if he wants to be totally bald! It’s his hair to decide not mine! Yes boys can wear pony tails, no I don’t care if people think he is a girl, and yes he does let me French braid it sometimes (only when frozen is on) 
Finley had the same hair, maybe not as curly, more wavy than Charlie’s but just as long and floaty and beautiful! He was asked if he wanted it cut, he did so it happened! 

Even to this day he gets to decide! They all do! Mason wants to grow his wild mane out at the moment, his hair is wavy and wirey in texture very coarse, but it’s his to do as he pleases! 

If willow ever grows hair, she can wear it how she wants too! 

Yes I made my children, me and my husband created them, I birthed them, keep them alive but they are their own people, they own their own bodies and ever hair on them! 

Personally I love Charlie’s hair, if it was up to me id keep it long and I secretly hope he wants to keep it too! For now, it’s not going anywhere, he isn’t bothered by it, in fact he loves it because he likes to put it by his mouth when he has a sleepy bottle for comfort! 
I am not going to tell you what to do with your child or ask you when you’re getting your hair cut so please stop asking me when I’ll cut Charlie’s because the answer is whenever he wants it done! 
Until next time! 

Fuck body shamers 

Like most I spent the majority of my late teens and twenties worrying about my body. Always thinking I’m too fat, my muffin tops to big, my nose is big, I hate my teeth, my hair sucks, my eyebrows are shit. The list is endless! Not one single part of me did I love! Including my own self! I hated me! 

After having Mason I snapped back into a size 8 (I hate former me too guys) then along came Finley! I ate what I wanted during that pregnancy and became a bit of a heffer! In the years following his birth I was the biggest I’ve ever been. My little 5ft 1 inch frame looked way to big for itself! I hated looking in the mirror, would over compensate with a “bubbly” happy go lucky personality. That wasn’t me. It was annoying! Having my daughter has changed my mentality massively! Now when I look in the mirror? Yes i see saggy tits, a flabby belly, wobbly thighs, my eyebrows are still shit and my nose is still big , but I fucking love me!! I look at my body and think well done you beautiful bitch! You have given life to four souls, you there saggy tits! You rock! You’re keeping that beautiful girl alive and nurished! And to my own self? I think as long as my kids like me, as long as they love me and I’m doing my job right fuck what anyone else thinks! I think I’m pretty ok! 

I’m not perfect! I make mistakes, misjudge things but I’m only human! 

There are people in this world who will always try to put you down, fellow women who will tut at your stretch marks, who think you shouldn’t wear that tight dress! You know what you should say? FUCK YOU! My body is awesome and I love me!!!! 

When I die I’m not gunna be lying there thinking “dam I wish I was skinnier” I wanna lie there knowing I made the most of my life! That I loved my own self and owned my saggy tits and flabby mum tum! What ever size you are, what ever the colour of your skin, parent or not, you’re beautiful! Yes you, reading this! You are amazing!! 
Until next time 

If I were a kid 

Adulting is hard and sometimes it sucks! I think it would be great to role reverse with my kids! Here’s what I’d do if I could be a child again and they can deal with the grown up crap! 

I’d take every available opportunity for a nap! Why the hell do kids refuse naps? Naps are the shit!! 

I’d eat all the yum kids food and not have to worry about gaining weight cos that’s what’s expected of you as a child! Babies are encouraged to gain weight and it sucks that it changes when you’re a grown up! 

I’d go outside and play all day long!! I miss the days of making up games,playing with my friends outside and going on pretend adventures! When I tell my kids to go outside and use their imaginations they look at me like I’m speaking clingon!! 

I’d take a poop somewhere other than the toilet, cos my toddler seems to find that really funny so it must be! Plus Charlie would have to clean it up and that would be the sweetest revenge! 

I’d wear super hero costumes at all available times! Cute when kids do it, yet if I, a grown ass woman wants to dress up like a god dam hero I’d be looked at funny and people would whisper about me! 

For times where superhero costumes aren’t appropriate I’d demand all my clothing must have cats/birds/rabbits/unicorns or mermaids on them at all times! If I am given a none animal based item of clothing I will lay on the floor and scream until someone brings me one! 

Eat all the ice cream and not feel guilty! 

I’d make up some shit about how I can’t stand my food to touch and make Mason meticulously separate it, and if one single pea touches a carrot I won’t eat it! Just cos kids get away with pulling that crap! 

I’d also only want to have all dinner wear a certain colour, let’s go with yellow, it’s like the sun! Taking me out for a meal would be a nightmare! 

Watch tons of kids tv on a Saturday morning and stay up late watching movies in the evening! And late would be like 10pm so then I could go to bed all sleepy and not get up till like 10am the next morning! 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep! Amazing! 

But most of all I’d enjoy every second of not having to worry about all the bullshit that comes with being a grown up! Wether I’m parenting right or messing my kids up, how many bills I’ve gotta pay or if the car breaks down! The silly politics that come with it all, to be free of that for a couple of days? Well wouldn’t that be nice!!! 
And children wonder why we tell them not to wish life away! 
Until next time

Rain rain go the fuck away! 

Suck it This is how I feel about the last three days! 

Nothing really crap has happened I’m just bored out of my tiny mind!! It’s been raining pretty much constantly for days, and not like light rain that we can still go out for a walk in, heavy windy shitty rain!! 

Willow has started cluster feeding so I’m beyond knackered and feeling like a dairy cow! Guess she’s gunna need to really start weaning now! 

When The boys weaned it was all home made and frozen, especially Charlie as I had so much time to do it while mason and fin were at school. Now? I’m dreading it! I feel like “ain’t nobody got time fo dat”! 

I guess I’m gunna have to stay up even later one evening and do a mass cook! Or just buy some pouches who am I kidding! 

I’m so god dam tiered as it is! 

Finley and mason are being asswipes, fighting and having petty little arguments! Mason took it upon himself to hide a fiver this morning, his reason why? “Because I wanted to surprise you in a few days when you don’t have any money” kid logic for you right there!!! 

Tried to do some reading with fin (we are on Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets) we read one page and then willow wanted to feed again!! 

Just served dinner and Charlie looked at it and then tipped his bowl of pasta over the floor! 

He also keeps throwing huge wobblers, he’s bored! There is only so much building blocks and episodes of paw patrol he can take!! 

I’m leaving the house tomorrow rain or shine! I’m slowly going insane and my patience is wearing very thin! Even the cats are being dickheads!! 

Wish me luck because i’m counting down the minutes until bed time!! 
Until next time! 

Dear period 

Warning: it’s about periods! Don’t read if you’re likely to cringe. Or read and cringe but don’t blame me cos I did warn you! 

Like most mums my period has been absent from my life a few times, sometimes that’s made me go “shit” and see two blue lines appear and more recently it’s been absent due to breastfeeding! 
I love feeding willow for her sake as well as mine, one huge bonus? No periods! Well so I was lead to believe for five glorious blood free months!! 

My first period after willow can only be described as hell! The inside of my womb felt like the battle of the bastards! 
I’ve seen and read a few funny things that accurately describe periods but the following is my absolute favourite! 

It’s like all month long your womb has been crafting and lovingly decorating this beautiful nursery for an impending arrival, she’s painted, hung curtains, built the bed, plumped the pillows and then waited. Then one day you have to come home and say “erm this is awkward, we aren’t having a baby sorry” and in a fit of rage she tears down the walls, smashes Windows, rips up the carpet and expels it all out of your vagina! 

Ok so that’s not what really happens but it sure feels like it!! 
In the days before my first post pregnancy period, I was hateful! I cried for no reason, craved food 24/7 went from being a smiling calm person to a fucking psychopath in five minuets flat! 

This is too be expected and most of us experience this, but when you have no idea your period is making its comeback, well the conclusion I drew was that is obviously lost the plot and needed to see my doctor asap! Then it began, I was riding the Crimson tide once more! 

The cramps feeling like I’m being tortured from the inside! 

On day four Finley noticed my tampons in the window! He came into the lounge holding them and asking if he could have one of my sweets! The first thing I said? “Why the hell would I leave sweets in the toilet Finley” he said “incase you got hungry when you’re doing a poo mummy” 

Fair point, well made kid!! 

I have a policy with my kids to be as honest as is age appropriate with them! So I told Finley “they are called tampons,they are for ladies to use” of course he asked me what for! So I took a deep breath and said “once a month or so ladies get something called a period, a period makes ladies bleed from the vagina, it’s not scary nothing bad will happen it’s totally normal, the tampons are to stop the blood” his response? 
“Ohhhh so you eat them and they stop the blood getting out then” 

In the end I just said yes that’s it! Because clearly he wasn’t ready to be told how it actually works! 
I’ve since had another monthly visit, it was just as bad, like when sales people knock on the door and you then stand there for ages listening to them telling you about crap you don’t want to buy and then you have to say “erm thanks but I don’t need that” like thanks period for letting me know we aren’t with child but I didn’t really think we were, a text next time maybe? 
So I await my next monthly a bit more prepared. I will stock up on chocolate and cake, make Adam aware he will be making midnight trips to Mcdonalds for Mcflurrys and explain to the kids mummy’s going to be a bit moody for a few days, probably met with “what’s new”!! 
Until next time!