Fast forward 7/8 years to me having Charlie! I was more prepared for him, I knew what kind of mother I wanted to be, I wanted to continue as I was but do all the things in his early life that I didn’t know about with Finley and Mason.
I wanted to breastfeed, cloth nappy, everything natural organic and homeopathic!
I bought a sling as I wanted to baby wear. And you know something?
I did breastfeed, Charlie only came out of cloth nappies last Christmas, he had an amber teething necklace, and was carried in a sling a hell of a lot!
I was hellbent on carrying on all of this into toddlerhood, alas it has not happened! Charlie’s favourite food is toast, he won’t touch a single vegetable, he will only eat strawberries and grapes he doesn’t like to be carried anymore and is in disposable nappies.I guess my ideas and ambitions for motherhood put a lot of pressure on me, I really wanted to be what I thought was perfect. I don’t know how or why but having Willow has made me a confident mother. She rarely goes in the sling, has only worn cloth a few times, and has only tried an amber necklace once and I’m ok with that! She’s happy and healthy!
When it comes to parenting we all have our own ideas on what’s right and wrong. The biggest issue? Respecting other people’s choices! I’m really god dam fed up of mum wars!! It’s not a competition! Your baby walked at 10 months? That’s awesome I’m really genuinely pleased to hear it, my baby didn’t until 13 months does that make him a lesser human? No it does not! Why do we pit women against each other? It seems more prevalent in motherhood, we judge other mothers choices, when they wean, the way they feed, pram or sling, jarred food or home made, attachment parenting or hands off, there is always something! Does it matter? Aren’t we all doing the same thing here? Aren’t we all just trying to raise our kids the best we can? We all have different styles, different lives, different views. Why should we all be the same? Where’s the diversity in that? Wouldn’t the world be a boring place if everyone was a clone!
And at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter what you do because when your kid is old enough to choose they’re going to be eating chicken nuggets from the floor and sweets they found in the car! Why don’t we all just support each other? Why can’t we all just get along? Respect is a key ingredient in life, we need to show respect in order to receive it! Let’s stop bashing other mothers because they aren’t doing the exact same thing as you! Let’s stop slagging each other off because your mate Susan decided to wean her baby early! Or Debbie down the road never breastfed! It doesn’t matter! As long as Susie and Debs are good mothers doing the best they can and keeping their kids alive, happy,loved and well,who gives a shit!!!??
Women have long been played off against each other for various reasons, but what’s worse than that is we are doing it to each other! Women should be supporting each other! Can you imagine meeting a new friend and thinking wow this person is awesome and then finding out in their spare time they are trolling celebrities Instagram’s to leave nasty comments!? Wouldn’t you find that sad? I genuinely have sorrow in my heart for hate filled people, I firmly believe if you don’t have anything nice or constructive to say to someone then shut the fuck up! What’s the need to be vile and drag someone down? To destroy another persons self esteem is not only cruel,it’s downright nasty! So what are we going to do? Next time your fellow mum or dad friend makes a choice, or confides in you for advice why not say this “how do you feel”? “What do you want to do”? Or “does it work for you and your family” that’s all that really needs to be said! Let’s support each other on this journey, let’s build each other up, pat each other on the back, advise not criticise!!!
Peace and love guys!
Until next time!